Writer Dana Schwartz has come up with a unique business model- Mysterious Funeral Goer.
The author of And We’re Off, and memoir Choose Your Own Disaster, offered to stand at the back of a funeral with a massive black umbrella, looking mysterious. For a small fee, of course.
Fellow authors and humorists of Twitter, including our favourite Neil Gaiman, got involved to either take her up on the offer or to join the enterprise. A surprising amount of people were up for it, prompting Schwartz to promote her latest book in place of Venmo donations.
Photo by Emily Assiran
A while ago Schwartz created a parody Twitter account called @GuyInYourMFA based on her own experiences with people she encounters in writers’ workshops and with @DystopianYA, she tweeted about the tired tropes in young adult fiction. Those accounts have since been retired but are still available to read through and enjoy.
Schwartz’s humour is a thread through all of her work, from criticisms of pop culture in Entertainment Weekly to her playful memoir formulated like a ‘choose your own adventure’ book. I, for one, would love to hire her to stand and look mysterious at my funeral, in fact I would pay extra if she would also recite a cryptic poem before running off in hysterical tears.
If you pay me $50 I'll show up to your funeral but stand really far away, holding a black umbrella regardless of the weather, so that people think you died with a dark and interesting secret.— Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) 3 January 2019
my venmo is dana-schwartz-11 I will need the money deposited in advanced, and your obituary will need to be published in a newspaper so I can write a code on the back and leave it at your grave for someone to find. the code will be nonsense.— Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) 3 January 2019
Or how about as the burial ends, taking out your phone, ringing someone and just saying “it’s done” before pausing & hanging up, then just turning and walking away?— Dave Nevett (@_GLB) 5 January 2019
Neil Himself was up for it
If you promise to dab your cheeks from time to time with a black lace handkerchief you’ve got a deal.— Neil Gaiman (@neilhimself) 3 January 2019
Brilliant. Should I put it into my will, or just send you the $50 and trust you to show up and make people think I was interesting?— Neil Gaiman (@neilhimself) 3 January 2019
Obviously, you'll need all the help you can get. But you can trust I'll be there (don't make it for a while).— Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) 4 January 2019
Donations to her Venmo started coming in so she pushed her latest book instead
Find Dana Schwartz’s books here:
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