Bookshops are often thought of as quiet, thoughtful places where people go to buy, read, and sniff the books. Sometimes it can be tricky to make the bookshop seem like a super-exciting and stimulating place to be, but one branch of Waterstones has been trying to entice people in with their witty rhetoric on Twitter.
Ok, so perhaps the only people impressed with cheeky banter from a retail social media account are possibly just Reading Addicts… And it is a good job you are all here!
Settle down with a cup of tea and these 15 witty, silly, and funny quips from Swansea Waterstones.
Doors closed 2.5 hours ago. We are, as ever, staying late. There have been reports of a thesaurus leak, and we are worried, bothered, concerned, apprehensive, fraught, fretful and nervous about it. You never know when it may strike. Or transpire. Be vigilant. And wary.— Waterstones Swansea (@swanseastones) 4 September 2018
That sounds a little challenging. We had an 'Oxford Dictionary of Physics' leak in '97. For days all we could talk about was absolute expansivity and palaeomagnetism. We are still finding the odd quark behind the shelves, too.— Waterstones Swansea (@swanseastones) 5 September 2018
Doors closed 20 minutes ago. We're all staying late, as ever. This time it's for our weekly discussion/argument about whether John Grisham is fiction or crime and whether Ursula Le Guin should be under 'L' or 'G'. We've had the same discussion/argument every week for 20 years now— Waterstones Swansea (@swanseastones) 31 August 2018
Doors closed 4 hours ago. What have we been doing for 4 hours, you ask? Oh, you know, this and that, we say. Closing the doors, we say. That took a minute. Checking they were locked. 2 minutes. Then 3 hours 57 writing this tweet. We're sure you'll agree it was worth the wait.— Waterstones Swansea (@swanseastones) 2 September 2018
Doors opened 45 minutes ago. There are SO many amazing new books out. There's this one, this one, this one, that one, that one, that one and these ones. We particularly recommend this one. You CAN see the books we're holding, right? That's how Twitter works, right? Right? Good.— Waterstones Swansea (@swanseastones) 4 September 2018
Doors open in 50 minutes. Update; it's looking less and less likely that Danny Boyle will be choreographing our door opening ceremony. It was always a bit of a pipe dream. He HAS offered to do the closing ceremony but, let's be honest, they're never quite as good, so we said no.— Waterstones Swansea (@swanseastones) 24 August 2018
Doors open in 30 minutes.— Waterstones Swansea (@swanseastones) 2 September 2018
Danny Boyle update: we have officially and irreparably parted ways. Creative differences. He wanted to replace the doors with pits and boulders as he's hoping to direct the next Indiana Jones.
The doors are relieved, and the ceremony will remain as is. https://t.co/MJNSVS5iTi
Doors opened 1.75 hours ago. #DoorFact 19. The doors have 8 locks. 7 are the same. 1 is different and needs a separate key. Why? The legend of the One Key is long, complex and very, very boring.— Waterstones Swansea (@swanseastones) 31 August 2018
What we can say, though, is that the result is occasionally mildly annoying.
Doors open in an hour. It may be the end of the summer holidays (inset days notwithstanding) but EVERY visit to @swanseastones is a holiday. And you don't even need to book. As it were.— Waterstones Swansea (@swanseastones) 3 September 2018
Also; notwithstanding. There's a word you don't see enough of, this tweet notwithstanding.
It seems like the beginning of the perfect ghost story… An old building, packed to the rafters with memories, the books full of people’s stories and authors’ energy… A ghostly figure floating through the shelves at closing time…
The oldest book shop in the USA- the Moravian Book Shop in Pennsylvania- boasts its own spectral member of staff: a dark figure seen occasionally wandering through the store. According to an employee, Jane Clugston, the spirit once warned her of danger, and potentially saved the store, and her life…
Dee Creative is an intersectional Black Feminist and is a passionate “advocate for racial justice and gender equality.” Her biggest dream is to open a Black Feminist Bookshop, “a safe and welcoming space where Black women can explore and discuss literary works that centre and reflect the Black female experience.” Read More
It’s a significant increase, especially as it’s the second year running numbers have increased, as it shows the first increase after years of decline for the book selling industry. The new members include 12 shops that opened during 2018 and three others which had opened previously but have only just joined the Booksellers Association in the last year.
Open from now until Wednesday 28th November, the pop-up shop is located on Bury Place, London and features books by women and gender non-binary people of colour. Read More
As Good Reader reports, the book’s publisher, Penguin Random House, has announced that Becoming sold over 725,000 copies on its first day of release, meaning it’s the publisher’s highest single-day sales of any book this year.
The Crowfunding campaign launched on 9th October with the hope of raising £45,000 to expand the shop. This amount was smashed within weeks and a new stretch target of £70,000 was set to help the shop reduced its reliance on expensive bank funding and when the campaign closed on Monday afternoon it was announced that £63,765 had been raised for the project.