The 9 Circles of Book Club Hell

Anyone who has participated in a book club with their friends and neighbours will know there are certain aspects of it that are less than lovely. Sometimes all we want to do is read a book together and discuss the plot and character development… Sometimes other people have other ideas.

Let us know on Facebook or Twitter if you have any other book club annoyances that we have left out…

It’s imperative that social gatherings involve food! Nibbles and munchies are all we ask for- no one is demanding a full three-course meal. Sometimes it can be fun to theme the food, for instance: period dramas call for posh sandwiches with the crusts cut off, great American literature goes well with apple pie… If you want me to sit and discuss a book for hours, I’m going to need sustenance!

Most book clubs I have attended have involved alcohol (see the 2nd Circle) and that means we will need something to soak that up, right?

Book clubs can be so much fun with a glass or two of our favourite plonk but let’s not get so drunk the book gets left by the wayside. After a bottle of wine I am not exactly coherent, so discussing our latest read may be difficult. It’s also a bit awkward when the host disappears for half an hour to vomit (in)discretely after a bottle of wine on an empty stomach. Alcohol can also be the catalyst for more drama than there needs to be- perhaps we wouldn’t have been at loggerheads about which character is better if it hadn’t have been for the considerable amount of vino we consumed…

A book club should be democratic. Everyone involved should get the chance to speak their piece about the book, whether you agree with them or not. It is hellish when a book club member just takes over every meeting, taking up over 50% of the discussion time with their own views, directing everyone in the discussion in a way they see fit. Of course a book club sometimes needs a bit of direction, especially when there is alcohol involved, but this shouldn’t be left up to one person.

There is nothing wrong with reading a long book in your own time but, for a book club, time needs to be taken into consideration. Meeting up once a month to discuss a book isn’t all people have got going on in their lives. Work, family, and general life commitments get in the way of our reading so picking a book that can fit in with all that is important. So that is no to War and Peace, no Don Quixote, and no Lord of the Rings!

Ok so this one depends on the group, and is up for debate. The argument is that overly intellectually demanding books can drain the book club’s fun aspect. Most people just want to read a great book and chat about it with their friends. Think The Book Thief by Markus Zusak rather than Dostoevsky’s Crime and Punishment. If everyone is up for deep, convoluting discussions on the meaning of life then by all means dismiss this circle of hell.

Just like with the overly intellectual books, a so-bad-it’s-good book just isn’t worth book club time. Just because the book will cause a few giggles doesn’t mean it will stimulate the book club members in any other way. No one’s imagination will be set alight, and no one will want to recommend the book to anyone else in the future. The book club may decide to choose a particularly badly written book for a laugh one month but it will soon become apparent that that was a bad idea. No one will enjoy it and everyone will just be moaning about how awful it was.

Sh*t happens and things get cancelled but cancel a book club meeting more than once and everyone starts to lose impetus. If one or two people can’t make the meet it is perfectly fine to go ahead with it anyway, they can alway catch up with the next book. One of the worst things about getting a bunch of people together at the same time is…well…getting a bunch of people together at the same time. If it is once monthly then people have enough time to fit it into their schedules.

Could we just get through one book club without an argument? There is almost nothing worse than having a book club member who just seems to come to vent their frustrations. Maybe it’s in their nature to be contrary, or to rub people up the wrong way, or maybe it is a problem with one other member in particular- whatever the reason it needs to be addressed, and stamped out. A book club is great with some heated discussion but when it is every point being argued against, and every month’s book creating sparks, it gets pretty tiring.

NOPE. No political books, no political debates, no, no, no. NOPE.

It would be nice to think a group of people could get together and discuss modern politics like level-headed, mature adults but, come on, we know that’s never easy. It really is best just to avoid that drama.