To us, the literary characters we read are read people who live inside our heads. We want to be some of them, we want to be with others, then there are the ones that are absolutely vile and truly toxic. So today we’re going in for a little literary man-bashing as we look at the most toxic men from literature.
These are my personal suggestions, and we’re sure you’ll have a few of your own too. Let’s see if you agree with my top ten creeps from the pages of our favourite novels.
Mr Rochester from Jane Eyre
What a total arse! You’re supposed to read this nonsense believing that Jane and Rochester have this beautiful love story but are we just supposed to overlook the bit where he was previously married? Are we supposed to overlook that he’s had his wife hidden in the attic, or that his solution is that Jane should live with him in France because he can’t marry? Jane you deserve better!
Christian Grey from 50 Shades of Grey
What a boring, brooding, possessive, game playing wanker! I don’t have the words to sufficiently describe what a stupid little fuckboy Christian Shades in. Dear, women of the world, men like this should live sex starved lives!
Dorian Gray – The Picture of Dorian Gray
So obsessed with his looks that he believes that beauty and selfish pleasure are the only point of being alive, Dorian Gray is only in love with one person, and it’s never going to be you!
Nick – Gone Girl
While Amy is pretty much the epitome of evil, Nick is hardly innocent either, a vindictive jerk in a relationship bound by manipulation and lies puts Nick in our toxic men list.
Patrick Bateman – American Psycho
He certainly has the money, the wealth, the apartment and the designer futon and you might be ok, so long as your head doesn’t end up in his fridge!
Humbert Humbert – Lolita
Humbert kidnaps and abuses his twelve year old step-daughter and frames the entire thing as the most beautiful love story in history. Toxic isn’t a strong enough word for Humbert.
Heathcliff – Wuthering Heights
Lots of people talk about how romantic Wuthering Heights is but Catherine and Heathcliff’s toxic relationship isn’t a healthy one. What man would force a marriage for the sake of revenge? What a dick!
Hamlet – Hamlet
If it’s not bad enough he’s constantly mean and callous to Ophelia, he also makes many a lewd suggestion and finishes it off by killing her dad!
Severus Snape – Harry Potter
I don’t care if he was a hero at the end, Snape was a horrible, toxic bully. A grown man who sold out the woman he loved then tormented her son and many other children for books and books!
Who would you add?
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No no no, You had me until Snape. You clearly misunderstand the man and his own tragic circumstances. Anyone can make a mistake but it is the true hero that can admit that and try to make amends. He paid the ultimate price for his loyalty and love. No no no. As for your comments about Christian Grey, they actually made me laugh out loud. All is almost forgiven.