O.D.D (Obsessive Discworld Disorder)

Does someone close to you suffer from O.D.D? Then you are not alone. There are hundreds of thousands of O.D.D sufferers throughout the world today, many of whom never get diagnosed.

O.D.D – Know the signs

The O.D.D sufferers will almost certainly have an excessive amount of ornaments following the themes of turtles, elephants or orang-utans.

When the news is on they will often cover their ears and sing la la la the world’s not round, whenever the Southern Hemisphere is mentioned. (Apart from Australia as long as it is referred to as the Last Continent, then they appear to be okay with that).
When a politician makes a decision they heartily disagree with, they will mutter under their breath ‘things would be different if Vetinari was in charge.’
Any modern conflict gets greeted with the phrase ‘Oh great just what we need, another Koom Valley.’

Shopping in a supermarket can be a particularly trying time for anyone in the company of an O.D.D sufferer. They will always hopefully ask an assistant if they stock Dibbler’s Pies, rummage through all the vegetables looking for humorous ones, then will head straight to the bread counter, grab a stale baton and spend the rest of the time attacking you with it shouting battle bread. (Important safety tip don’t ever let an O.D.D sufferer near the scones).

During passionate interludes in the bedroom they accidentally call you Lady Sybil or Sir Vimes.
When naming their first born they think Carrot is a good name for a boy and Angua is a good name for a girl or dog (they already have a dog called Gaspode).
Those romantic meals for two will always be selected from Nanny Ogg’s Cookbook.
If you bring them a cup of tea or coffee they will often respond with a ‘thank you Willikins.’

Nanny Oggs Cookbook US
Nanny Oggs Cookbook UK

Planning a holiday is an especially difficult time for anyone with the O.D.D sufferer, who will invariably walk into the local Thomas Cook office and complain that they can’t find any holiday brochures for package holidays in Klatch.
Travelling directions will always be given in terms of Hubwards, Rimwards, Turnwise, and Widdershins (don’t worry you’ll get the hang of it).
And forget trying to bring luggage as it will always be viewed with suspicion and given a wide berth.
Christmas is always referred to as Hogswatch. (Yes you know who you are!)

When tidying their bookshelves do they refuse to reply with anything other than oook or eeek. (Important safety tip :- Do not call them a monkey at this time).
Any charities asking for donations will be reliably informed that they only give to the Sunshine Sanctuary for Sick Dragons and of course Alzheimer’s UK.
At least one letter of complaint a month will be sent to Dulux asking why Octarine does not appear in any of their paint ranges?

If you, a family member, or friend suffer from O.D.D, immediately consult a librarian or bookstore employee. And please let us know if you are O.D.D so we can cater for your needs.