The wait for the final chapters of G.R.R Martin’s epic tale of love, family loyalty, politics, and greed has become almost more famous that the story itself and despite many promises of imminent announcements, hints at publication dates and promises of nothing else being undertaken until Song of Ice and Fire is finished we readers are still waiting.
So on the occasion of G.R.R Martin’s birthday and for every missed deadline and broken promise that will inevitably occur in the future, here are 5 Birthday gifts all ASoIaF fans want to give G.R.R Martin.
The Motivation Switch: 77 Ways to Get Motivated.
Described as fluff free and devoid of psychological jargon and case studies, this book should help George get on with his writing as this book consists of 77 tips that are most useful for getting motivated.
Round Tuit Mug.
Yes yes we all know that you will finish the series when you get around to it George, so here you are, your very own round tuit. Now get writing!
Today’s Plan of Attack Great Big Stickies.
Tackle tasks with military precision and set yourself a daily goal with these plan of attack big sticky notes. Not so easy to put your mug of coffee over a big sticky and conveniently forget you’re meant to be finishing your series is it Mr Martin?
Nothing Will Work Unless You Do.
Are you listening George? That Maya knew what she was talking about, now stop faffing and get on with it. We’re all waiting you know and dragons with walking frames do not instil fear into our enemies!
Defuse a Bomb Alarm Clock.
Last but not least, there are many readers who think you need a bomb up your backside to get you going George but we’re not quite that cruel. So how about a rather lovely, if slightly unnerving dynamite shaped alarm clock, just to remind you constantly that time is running out.
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