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The Very Best Bad Reader Reviews

By March 29, 2016August 6th, 2017Literature

It’s always a good thing to be able to see what other people think of anything before you part with your hard earned cash don’t you agree? This is definite for me especially when buying a book by a new (to me) author; I always read the reviews before buying and I want a reader review, not a commercial one, something that has been written by someone like me, just there for the story.

Our own review section is now looking really impressive and it is there I turn to as my first point of enquiry but, if there’s nothing there I move on to Amazon and rather than reading the 5* reviews, I go straight to the 1* section. I have always thought that it is there that you will receive the most honesty, and if the reviews are well written then whatever that reviewer may dislike (not enough romance, too much gore) well that might be just what I am looking for and will nudge me towards buying the book.

All authors no matter how successful they may be are on the receiving end of at least a few negative reviews and I have taken a wander through them so that you can see just what some people think of even best selling books.

Catcher in the Rye

“Quite possibly the most tedious and worst-written book I have ever had the misfortune to read.”
 Anthony R. Dixon

“The most boring, pointless, overrated piece of drivel I have ever read.”
C. S. Bancroft

“This book is so bad, crazed Beatles fan, Mark Chapam was compelled to shoot and kill John Lennon. It’s only saving grace is that one day a crazed Chris de Burgh fan may read it.”


Our Review

To Kill a Mockingbird

“I read it when first published did not like it then,, thought I would give it another chance, still don’t like it”
Glee C.Kennnedy

“Losing the will to live. Never read such a boring book.”

“Over rated and over hyped…boring plot, borderline racist story line and use of characters…can’t work out why this is so highly rated?”
L Tonge

Pride and Prejudice

“Reaching for a shin bone.””Insipid, tedious, whimsical, bland, tiresome and mediocre. I’m out of adjectives to describe how underwhelmed I felt upon reading this ‘classic.'”

“I hate this book, quite passionately!”
A. Knight

“A book for drippy, doe-eyed, fourteen year-old girls.”
Alec Willetts

The Handmaid’s Tale

“My brother is reading this book for his A-Level and by complete coincidence, someone at work lent it to me recently. I pity my brother..”

“I forced myself to read this book; I struggled not to symbolically top myself with the glass from a picture frame due to its irritating, odious writing style..”
Matt Fletcher

“To be frank, I have never encountered such pointless twaddle. Whoever compared this to 1984 is completely out of their mind!”


“It’s filthy muck not fit to be found in the fields of Animal Farm! Fornication, thoughts of rape, adultery and horrid violence too”
Andy Burton

“load of rubbish.. my rabbit could have written a better book”

“…it’s a ponderous, contrived, drudge of a novel. Honestly, you’ll find it more fulfilling playing tiddlywinks with the cat!”

The Book Thief

” This book reinvents maudlin and takes it out to lunch.”

“As someone who speaks German, I did not appreciate the language used. Must find out how to delete books from my Kindle!”

“This vapid, ponderous brain fart is essentially a poor re-telling of Good Omens in a counter-factual Nazi Germany.”
Dan Blackburn


Our Review

Of Mice and Men

“Poorly written bag of crap! Let me save you the effort of reading it! George shoots Lennie because he killed Curley’s Wife! JOB DONE”

“If you buy this book then:
a) I pray for you
b) Please do remember that suicide is a sin.
Rather spend your money on something more interesting.
Like wall paint.”

“If you want a book thats overhyped, dull and thinks alot of itself but fails to deliver; buy this book.”
G. Evans


“Very wordy story about a man who creates a monstrous looking being -gives life to it and then instantly hates it.”

“.. the premise is ridiculous and the tortured Frankenstein is just a prize bore,”
Dr R. Aron

“Too much about personal feelings and not enough science”
Michael Shaw

The Stand

“King’s best? That’s not saying a great deal, is it? All of them, juvenile drivel. Oh you poor deluded souls…”
Mr M. Young

“This is no exageration, this book is unbelievably bad, i would have given it minus 5 stars if the option was there. it has put me off ever reading Stephen King again.”
Mr Michael D Chambers

“Soooooooooooooooooooooo Loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong!!”

Our Review

Lord of the Flies

“well, that was inconceivably boring…”
L.I. Thomas

“Fortunatly I no longer have a fire because if I did I’d use one of ASDA’s £1 copies of this book to light it.”

“answer me this- can you read a book where the author describes a twig for 5 pages ??? if no dont bother”
Mr L. Wright

I could have chosen Twilight or Fifty Shades but those were just too easy. It just goes to show you that no matter the book, no matter the status, you cannot please all of the people all of the time.

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  • Cristina says:

    “It just goes to show you that no matter the book, no matter the status, you cannot please all of the people all of the time.”

    Ok, but why bother to publish the reviews of people who obviously and totally miss the point of the books they read??

    I agree with the bad review for “The Book Thief”. But how on earth can one say that “To Kill a Mocking Bird” has a racist storyline or a boring plot? Have they read it until the last page?

    It is also understandable that someone can miss the point of “1984” or “Of Mice and Men”. But, again, why bother to publish their so-called reviews?

    • Jeanette Smith says:

      I couldn’t agree more. Many of these are books I thoroughly enjoyed and it’s hard to believe that people can be superficial enough to diss them. What do they want from a book? Why do they think many of these books have lasted so long?

  • Chris Smith says:

    I actually go to the 3-star reviews. 5-stars are often paid for/author friends and family reviews and tend to overdo the praise – when a book first appears these are often all you will see as the title has often been offered pre-publication for an ‘honest’ review. On the other hand, the 1-star reviews are usually like those you show here – couched in utterly dismissive terms but with NO explanation as to WHY they feel that way. You also have to consider those who for personal or ‘professional’ reasons want to harm the standing of the author. These are as unhelpful as the top reviews.
    The middle range reviews, in my experience, is where you find the most balanced opinions and the most thoughtful explanations of the reviewers feelings about a book.

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