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Thirty Protagonists you want to Throttle

By November 16, 2015March 8th, 2017Discussion and Recommendations

We’ve all been there, shouting at the stupid character who’s walking into the dim and dark room where the murderer is hidden, or chosen the cheat over the dreamboat.

Don’t deny it, we’ve all wanted to commit   ‘literaricide’   during our reading life when faced with an utterly clueless character and their stupid decisions. So, over on our Facebook page and Instagram account we asked our followers which protagonist irritated them to the point of wanting to throttle them. You didn’t disappoint.

Bella Swan

Stephanie Meyer’s Miss Isabella Swan trounced the opposition with her stupid inability to make a single decision on her own, her dependence upon having a partner and her knack for getting everyone she meets in serious trouble. It’s probably a good job she’s already a member of the undead as she wouldn’t last long around you lot.

Twilight US
Twilight UK

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Anastasia Steele

E.L James‘ femme pathétique and utterly strangleworthy character is second; another woman who cannot define herself other than as an accessory to her man and a woman who, if she bites her lip, rolls her eyes, or mentions her ‘inner Goddess’ one more time may genuinely find herself wishing she was back in Grey’s dungeon.

50 Shades of Grey US
50 Shades of Grey UK

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Dolores Umbridge

Yes we know she’s not a protagonist, yes we know she’s an antagonist but Oh we’d love to get our inky hands around this foul creature’s throat! As bad as Voldemort, it’s the relish she takes in the misery she causes that make you want to throttle her. Rowling says she wrote her that way because often she finds people who like ‘saccharine things’ are the most bigoted spiteful people around. She’s awful, not only does she make everyone’s life a misery but she loves it.

Harry Potter US
Harry Potter UK

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Holden Caulfield

A contradictory, naive yet resentful character J.D Salinger’s Holden Caulfield from Catcher in the Rye irked enough of you to place him in a creditable fourth place.

The Catcher in the Rye US
The Catcher in the Rye UK

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The Entire Cast

I don’t think we’ve ever had so many votes for the entire literary cast of a book. It seems that not one of Gone Girl’s characters had any endearing qualities and you could quite happily throttle the lot! Oh apart from the unborn baby, I seem to remember one comment saying the foetus was the only one who wasn’t annoying.

Gone Girl US
Gone Girl UK

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Harry Potter

Sorry Potterphiles but the boy wizard is really bloody irritating! Faffing about being a twit when he should have been sorting Voldem.. He Who Must Not Be Named out.

Harry Potter US
Harry Potter UK

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Clary Fray

This one irritated me hugely! For such a bright girl and one with such powers, Clary is a complete Dingbat! Why do these characters insist on silence instead of just talking to one another?

The Mortal Instruments US
The Mortal Instruments UK

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Tris Prior

The protagonist from the Divergent Trilogy Tris Prior is another choice I agree with wholeheartedly. Just talk to one another people!

Divergent US
Divergent UK

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Ashley Wilkes

Wimpy Wilkes from Gone With the Wind is your ninth placed throttle worthy character; despite what Margaret Mitchell may have written we all know Scarlett should have chosen the delectable Rhett Butler!

Gone With the Wind US
Gone With the Wind UK

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Sansa Stark

Beautiful, beguiling, dippy, ditzy and downright daft! That’s Sansa, while her younger sister understands what is going on around them and tries to warn her of the dangers, Sansa only cares about a pretty dress and a King for a husband! Don’t worry though G.R.R. Martin will have her killed soon enough and save us throttling her ourselves.

Song of Ice and Fire US
Song of Ice and Fire UK

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11, Rachel Watson – The Girl on the Train

12. Cathy Earnshaw  – Wuthering Heights

13. Katniss Everdeen – The Hunger Games

14. Roland Deschain – The Dark Tower

15. Chiyo Sakamoto – Memoirs of a Geisha

16. Pip (Philip Pirrip) – Great Expectations

17. Jonathan (Jack) Wolverton Randall – Outlander

18. Emma Bovary – Madame Bovary

19. Joffrey Baratheon – A Song of Ice and Fire

20. Heathcliff – Wuthering Heights

Rounding off the top thirty here are the next ten in order of nomination:

America Singer – The Selection
Daenerys Targaryen – A Song of Ice and Fire
Misa Amane – Death Note
Rebecca Sharp – Vanity Fair
Caleb Prior – Divergent
Amy March – Little Women
Claire Danvers – Morganville
Celaena Sardothien – Throne of Glass
Hermione Grainger – Harry Potter
Tally Youngblood – Uglies

There is only one conclusion we at For Reading Addicts can draw from the results of this poll.

You’re all violent and ever so slightly scary! And we love you for it.

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  • Poppy says:

    “A contradictory, naive yet resentful character J.D Salinger’s Holden Caulfield from Catcher in the Rye irked enough of you to place him in a creditable forth place.”

    That would be FOURTH place, not forth.

    I can see why you call this site “For Reading Addicts” and not “For Spelling Addicts” or “For Grammar Addicts”!

  • tamineha says:

    Personally, I could throttle that Gatsby guy from The Great Gatsby.

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