Winner of the Bad Sex Award is announced!

The Bad Sex Award nominees will have to wait no longer to see if they are winners of the tongue-in-cheek literary prize.

The all-male group nominated for their strange or gross depictions of sex included Gerard Woodward, William Wall, James Frey, and a particularly rapey scene written by Haruki Murakami (dude, gross, don’t do that).

The winner was announced at a lavish ceremony hosted by retro pop star Kim Wilde at the In & Out (Naval & Military) Club in London.

James Frey and his book Katerina won with his awkward and cringe-worthy passage describing… Well, you know.

Judges decided to award James Frey with the prize as his raunchy sex scenes between narrator Jay and lover Katerina in a Paris bathroom were just perfectly cringe-worthy. How many times exactly does someone have to write the word ‘cum’ before they realise it may be a little over-the-top?

The judges said, in a statement: “James Frey prevailed against a strong all-male shortlist by virtue of the sheer number and length of dubious erotic passages in his book. The multiple scenes of sustained fantasy in Katerina could have won Frey the award many times over.”

James Frey took the award in good humour:

 “I am deeply honoured and humbled to receive this prestigious award. Kudos to all my distinguished fellow finalists, you have all provided me with many hours of enjoyable reading over the last year.”

So, congratulations, I guess?