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10 of the Best Insults from Literature

By September 16, 2016Quotations

In the heat of an argument it can be difficult to come up with a classy, witty, and yet devastating insult. Writing may not always come easy, but at least authors do have plenty of time to craft perfectly worded lines for their characters. Today we’ll be look at some of the best insults from literature for you to borrow for next time you see a bully needing to be put back in their place.

George R.R. Martin – A Feast for Crows

“The man is as useless as nipples on a breastplate.”

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William Shakespeare – As You Like It

“I desire that we be better strangers.”

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Kurt Vonnegut – Timequake

“If your brains were dynamite there wouldn’t be enough to blow your hat off.”

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Anthony Burgess – A Clockwork Orange

“If it isn’t fat, stinking billygoat Billy-Boy in poison. How art thou, thy globby bottle of cheap, stinking chip-oil? Come and get one in the yarbles, if you have any yarbles, you eunuch jelly thou.”

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Iris Owens – After Claude

“If looks could kill, you’d soon find out that yours couldn’t.

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Roald Dahl – Matilda

“You blithering idiot! … You festering gumboil! You fleabitten fungus! … You bursting blister! You moth-eaten maggot!”

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J.K. Rowling – Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

“She is nuttier than squirrel poo.”

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Franza Kafka – The Metamorphosis

“He was a tool of the boss, without brains or backbone.”

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Raymond Chandler – The Long Goodbye

“You talk too damn much and too damn much of it is about you.”

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Margaret Mitchell – Gone With the Wind

“My dear, I don’t give a damn.”

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