Theresa May Still Bitter About Hogwarts Rejection

While we all might be a bit sad knowing our Hogwarts letter isn’t coming, the British Prime Minister, Theresa May seems to have taken it to heart more than most. In an interview this week the Prime Minister showed her disdain for all things magic in true Dursley style, refusing to compare herself to a Harry Potter character for a group of school children.

You can see May’s denial of all things magic here:

Of course the Internet went wild, with many comparing May to Professor Umbridge, but it’s clear to us that May actually has a magical sister, but when her time came she didn’t receive her letter to Hogwarts and she’s now all bitter about it. Theresa May isn’t Professor Umbridge, she’s Petunia Dursley and she won’t have that nonsense in her house!

Maybe it’s not the letter she’s upset about, maybe she hasn’t yet got over the shock of the portrait speaking to her on her first day in office, and maybe she’s never forgiven the Minister For Magic for spinning from her fireplace and getting ash on her rug.

When asked for comment, unofficial sources state that the leader of the opposition, Jeremy Corbyn was happy to give his answer telling reporters that ‘I’d like to say I’m a Dumbledore type character, but no doubt the media would have me down as Ron Weasley’.

Disclaimer: This article contains a lot of things that simply aren’t true but we’re forced to go to any lengths to keep you muggles in the dark.

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